The Curious Case of the Elimar Portrait: A Van Gogh Dream

I've seen it all. From forged Rembrandts that look like they were painted by a toddler with a crayon to "lost" Da Vinci drawings discovered in someone's attic. But this latest escapade? This is a crispy affair, like the croissant I'm currently devouring while writing to you this morning.

We have LMI Group International, where decisions are based on "data analysis", who apparently believe algorithms can detect out a lost masterpiece They stumbled upon a “Van Gogh” – the “Fisherman’s Portrait” – at a garage sale. For $50. Fifty dollars! I spend more on my morning breakfast this morning .

Everyone hopes to stumble upon a valuable find. But expecting a Van Gogh for $50? That's like thinking you'll discover a diamond the size of your fist while digging in the garden. this fisherman looked less like a lost masterpiece and more like he'd just swallowed a week-old Matsjes herring and was seriously regretting it.

LMI Group, armed with their "scientific" findings and boundless enthusiasm, approached the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam, eager for validation. The museum, however, remained unconvinced, responding with a curt, "Nee!"

Undeterred, LMI Group went full CSI: Art World. They analyzed an egg-white glaze (a technique Van Gogh actually used to protect rolled canvases, which makes this part even funnier). They even found a stray red hair on the canvas and conducted DNA analysis, because, clearly, that's the ultimate proof of authenticity. Meanwhile, the Van Gogh Museum, took one look at a JPEG and said again, "Nee!"

Turns out, the painting, now known as Elimar, is likely the work of a lesser-known 20th-century Danish artist, Henning Elimar. Poor Elimar. He probably had no idea his painting would become the subject of such a hilarious debacle. But hey, maybe this will finally get him some recognition. Perhaps a small retrospective?

They estimated the Elimar painting would be worth $15 million if it were a real Van Gogh. Sometimes, data just confirms you wasted a lot of time and money.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a client who wants me to authenticate a "lost" Monet they found at a flea market. It's a landscape…of a cat eating a herring. Wish me luck.